Confessions of a Church-Going Atheist

Here's the thing: I still regularly attend church, even though I no longer believe. I could say, my name is Disobedient Boy, and I'm a recovering Christian (okay, I just did), but you might draw an inference from that (rather flip) statement that isn't intended.

I'm actually quite fond of the Anglican Church. Isn't that ridiculous? I suppose I'm old-fashioned enough to think that it's still an important part of our cultural heritage. For me, it's the acceptable face of Christianity, and a whole lot less scary than Roman Catholicism, Southern Baptists, and other more fundamentalist denominations. I often find myself thinking, Christianity would be just fine as a basic moral philosophy if it wasn't for all the medieval supernatural stuff you have to stand up and say you believe in, every week.

I think my loss of faith has been quite gradual, over time. One Sunday, a couple of years ago, we went off to a different church than usual as my son was taking part in a flag parade with the local cub scouts. The service was of the type most usually categorised as "happy clappy" - but what struck me was how much of the happy-clappiness corresponded almost exactly with motivational Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques. If I understand what I've read on the subject, the more you hear yourself reciting a statement of belief (or a creed, or a prayer), the more that belief is ingrained and strengthened. The thing is, when you know it's just a psychological trick, it becomes easier to see things more objectively. Later, I read Dawkins' The God Delusion (a good read, although I sometimes find Dawkins a tad too gleeful in his demolitions of other people's belief systems) and then I was well on the road to apostasy.

DB

What You Get When You Give a Dog a Bad Name

I suppose I ought to kick off with a couple of acknowledgements, and an explanation. I'm afraid I can't claim the title as one of my own - I'm not entirely sure of the provenance, but I seem to remember Business, As Usual, During Altercations being used by the late James Blish as a story title in an old Star Trek anthology. I've always thought it was rather clever, and so I've dusted it off for use here.

"Disobedient Boy" came from J.G. Ballard's Empire of the Sun - or, so I thought. When I checked my tatty old paperback copy (Grafton, 1985), it turns out I had remembered incorrectly - on page 200 (Chapter 24, The Hospital), Sergeant Nagata calls Jim, "Difficult boy". "Disobedient Boy" fits me better, though. I think I'll stick with it, for now.

DB